Chiapas pt.I

Have you ever been to a place and instantly felt your soul relax? It's a similar feeling of coming to your favorite place after a tiresome day and having the heaviness of life immediately clear from your body, leaving you with a feeling of spaciousness in heart. I've felt inklings of this feeling when visiting my grandma's house after a long hiatus, sleepily riding through the Scottish Highlands in winter, aimlessly strolling through the fairytale that is North Berwick with a lover, or walking along the cobblestoned streets of Toledo Spain where the laughter of children, the chime of church bells, and the offering of a beautiful cellist serenades my being. Now Imagine if that inkling wasn't an inkling, but an embodied experience you are able to tap into whenever, wherever, however. That is Chiapas.

We arrived in Chiapas around 11p, after a tight bus ride from Tuxtla. By this point, Mars and I had been traveling all day and I just wanted a shower, some space and a comfortable bed. If you know me, you know when I don't have these things after a certain hour when I want them and how I want them, I can be a quiet monster. I’m soon to become deeply irritable and retreat swiftly into my own brooding world. All that to paint a picture of my mood when we got off the bus in Chiapas. We grabbed a taxi and headed to our airbnb. While in the Taxi, that feeling washed over me. I noticed it instantly because I was in such a foul mood before that moment, and it’s usually difficult to pull myself out of those head spaces when I'm tired. I realized I was no longer annoyed or even slightly sleepy. Instead I felt myself come more alive than ever before. I felt confirmation of a deep intuitive knowing that had been with me since Mars and I first decided to go to Mexico: I belong here.

Let me backtrack to tell you how we got here in the first place...

You know those instagram friends you follow for years and you support each other as though you've known each other since kindergarten? That's me and Mars. Since our first interaction, conversation with Mars has always been authentic and somehow related to our individual journeys, which very much aligned divinely. Of course there was low-key flirting because we're both Aries and literally the same person in this way. One night Mars was on her champagne papi tip when she proposed we take a trip somewhere. We'd both been itching to travel and rest for a month, and we had a common IG friend who happened to live in Chiapas. I reached out to our now sweet friend Andy about her and her partner hosting us for a few nights. As I suspected, she was warm and kind and said yes. From there, we began planning our month long excursion. After booking the first flight, I felt an intuitive draw to Chiapas out of all the places we chose to visit. I didn't know why, but I felt something impactful would happen when I arrived in Chiapas. This inkling was noticeable because I hadn't felt drawn to any place in years at that point. Though I was planning to move to Atlanta, it was simply because I was ready to leave Mississippi. Atlanta had no real draw for me intuitively. It was always meant to be temporary.

We arrive to our first AirBnb. Beautiful doesn’t do it justice.The view from our room and patio was the San Cris skyline with its rolling clouds hovering above the city and its lights and barking dogs and endless fireworks. Mars is the perfect travel companion because we flowed effortlessly throughout our days. We both have sacred spiritual practices so most of our mornings were dedicated to taking individual space for our routines, then coming together to do whatever we wanted. Talk about platonic romance. We took space when we needed it and allowed ourselves to not be in a rush to experience the city. If we wanted to sleep in and watch Bridesmaids all day, we would. If we wanted to explore, we did. We were on our own time and our days were full of lessons that derive from intentionally choosing to live slowly. Though as someone who used to derive their sense of self worth from their level of productivity, I did have moments of peak stress and overwhelm. However, I wouldn't want to be overwhelmed anywhere else with anyone else. Mars was my angel. I remember waking up one day feeling sad and scared. I couldn't place the source of those emotions because I was too deep into the feeling of it all. So to avoid pulling the covers over my head and saying fuck that day, Mars and I found some secluded restaurant with the most depressing playlist in rotation. She bought me breakfast and let me cry. She knew when to give me space and when to hold my heart. Her love added to the magic of Chiapas

I not only felt held here. I started a great amount of healing here as well. I discovered and moved in a strange amount of love. Being in Chiapas confirmed my belief about one's environment playing a significant role in your overall wellbeing. I had space here. Space to break open more and space to allow the pieces to come together as they may. In Chiapas, I embodied the kind of slow living I desire. The kind that places you in connection with life itself — the vibrant life inside of you as well as the vibrant life happening around you. And the city is vibrant with its markets, hustling locals, the land and even new friends who inspired and uplifted me in so many ways with their art, communities and refreshing openness to life. Here I began to feel a long awaited heart opening.

Typically I would want to credit that heart opening to a specific moment, but in reality it was the culmination of all of my moments in Chiapas and how I was able to be in them and move through them in a way that required my full being to show up, to be and receive. Up until then my heart space had been heavily relaxing in the space of "nah I'm good back here behind these barbed wires". After leaving Chiapas, I knew I would return in order to give my heart and being the space it truly deserves to open and feel held. After two weeks in Atlanta it was a no brainer. I was moving to Mexico.